This article is about something we tend to relate with not being perfect or not being enough, as to why we tend to judge other people.
I’d love to write here that I am such a great and open person that I don’t judge anyone, but sadly that’s not the case. I judge. And I hate myself for that. I know we all do this to some extent, because we’re all experts in finding faults, right?
So, here’s the actual reason why I am writing this entry.
I’ve been thinking about this since that night, we were having our dinner in a bakery/eatery and there were these three ladies talking about their church-mate who’s having a crush on their Pastor. To make the story short, their Pastor is single but has two children; his wife had passed away already. One of the ladies said, “You shouldn’t be crushing on someone who has kids already. If you end up being together, you will not get his full attention and love. It’s not fair. I’d rather stay single”. I was like, wow. Really? You’re a Christian and you’re judging a Pastor. Your words hurt. They affect the people around you. Not because a person is not perfect doesn’t mean s/he doesn’t deserve to be loved completely.
See, judgment is something we do without thinking, all the time. I don’t want to be judged and I’ve always believed in the idea of treating others how I want to be treated. When I judge someone, I don’t feel good about myself, not even for a second.
We must accept and realize that nobody is perfect. We are not perfect. Life is not perfect. Nothing is perfect. But having flaws doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with us.
Why do we tend to judge others but ourselves?
Because we are insecure and unhappy with who we are and we’re scared or intimated by other people, we’ll put them down.
What are the impacts of judging?
It puts negativity into world and it hurts other people, so think about what you say. It also makes you feel worse about yourself. You think you’re a bad person for throwing harsh judgments on others.
How do we stop from judging people?
Work on paying more attention to your thoughts and do your best to push them in a positive direction. Monitor your thoughts. There is always something positive you can find in someone or something. Push your thoughts in a more positive direction and look for something nice to say, if you can’t find something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
When judgments are hard to push away, focus on yourself. Don’t worry about what other people are doing. Think about your own life. Focus on what you want and go after it. Think about you and focus on the good things. Remember how it feels to be judged. And remember how it felt the last time you judged someone else. It doesn’t feel good to judge or to be judged so put an end to it right now.
I’m going to work on remembering the feeling of being judged the next time I feel like a negative thought about someone else is cropping up. Once more and more people begin to do this, it will result in a happier life for all. Can you imagine what the world will be like if we try to understand other people rather than judging them? An understanding that each of us is meant to be unique, one of a kind, exclusive and special.